Autobiography of Money

(The following is adapted from Faith and Money Network)

As an inclusive faith leader and entrepreneur, you will need to ask for and engage with money in ways that may be completely new to you. This is why reflecting on your relationship with money is an important step in the process of discerning your call to lead. Writing your autobiography of money is a challenging and crucial first step in understanding your behavior, values, and feelings evoked by money. Reflection on money and your life’s journey can offer new insights and awareness. As you discern the ways you earn, inherit, invest, spend, give, or waste money, often without conscious choice or deliberate faith, you will be more fully enabled to respond to the ways God is calling you in your life. 

Take time to reflect and write down your responses to the following questions. Focus on feelings and relationships, as well as factual accounts. You will be asked to share with your coach or cohort only what is comfortable for you to share. Reflecting on your internal process is what matters most.

Childhood

  • What is the earliest experience with money that you remember? Name a happy one and an unhappy one. 
  • As a child growing up, did you feel rich or poor? Why? 
  • How were your attitudes and behaviors about money shaped by your parents, guardians and/or grandparents? 
  • Do you know if your parents tithed to your church or gave to another organization?
  • Who first taught you about generosity? 
  • How did gender, race, and/or culture influence how your family treated or talked about money?
  • What was your attitude toward money as a teenager? How was this influenced by peers or siblings? 
  • What conversations and considerations did you have around choosing what college to attend? Did money play a role in your decision?
  • Do you have any regrets in regards to money in your childhood or teenage years?

Young Adulthood

  • How did money play a role in your life as a young adult? Has your attitude or your feelings shifted as you entered college? As you graduated college?
  • What values and priorities shaped your relationship with money in your young adulthood? What wise choices did you make? What mistakes did you make, and why?
  • If you are married, at what age did you meet your spouse? At what age did you get married? Consider how your attitude toward money changed when you met and how/if it changed when you got married or were considering marriage with someone in your past. 
  • If applicable, how did your relationship with money change when you became a parent? If you desire to expand your family one day, how does that influence your thinking about your long-term and short-term future?
  • How did you feel about money at 21, 30, 40, etc. Have your attitudes and feelings shifted at the different transitional stages in your life? 

Marriage or Committed Partnership/s (if applicable)

  • We suggest asking your spouse/partner to individually respond to the following questions, then come together to discuss your answers as a couple. 
  • How did you learn about money?
  • In a phrase or two, what is your general money philosophy?
  • How much debt do you have? (credit cards, student loans, hospital bills, car loans, mortgage)
  • How much do you have in your checking and savings accounts?
  • What is the value of your investment accounts? (include all retirement accounts such as IRA’s and 401ks)
  • What is your net worth? (Net worth = assets – liabilities: Look at your answers above.)
  • Do you give to any charity/church? If so, how much do you give and why do you give?
  • Do you have a joint bank account or separate accounts or both? Why or how did you make the decisions to manage your account/s this way?
  • Who is responsible for making sure that our bills are paid on time? How or why did it become that person’s responsibility? 
  • What are your short and long-term financial goals?
  • Have you been a cosigner for anyone?
  • What are your thoughts on cosigning?
  • What are your thoughts about lending money to family/friends?
  • What is your understanding of stewardship?
  • Who makes the larger income in the family? Has it always been this way? What feelings have you had to work through or do you continue to struggle with around income?
  • After you’ve discussed these questions with your spouse/partner, reflect on what you’ve learned from the exercise and start to imagine how these discussions might influence your decision to launch and lead a faith community. Launchpad will continue to provide you with resources to keep talking as you move into the fundraising, launch, and leadership phases of your journey. 

General Questions

  • What is your happiest memory in connection with money? 
  • What is your unhappiest memory in connection with money? 
  • When was the last time you splurged on something luxurious? How did it make you feel afterwards? 
  • When was the last time you had an unexpected cost come up? How did you handle it? What feelings do you have about it now?
  • How do you feel about your present financial status compared to a past status? 
  • How does having or not having money affect your self-esteem?
  • Are you generous or stingy with your money? In what ways? 
  • How often in a month do you look at or manage your finances? What feelings arise for you when you do look at them?
  • How often do you worry about money?
  • How have you discovered that financial health is an expression of faith? How does your faith guide you in your use of money? 
  • Do you tithe? If so, how do you really feel about it? Do you tithe because this is how you want your money used, or do you tithe because you want to belong and are willing to pay this cost of belonging? Or is there another reason? 
  • How do you feel when the church or other charities ask you for money?
  • How do you feel when friends or family ask you to lend or give money? 
  • How do you feel when beggars approach you asking for money? 
  • How do you deal with the fact that 2/3rds of the people of our world are living in poverty? If you have personal relationships with people in poverty and/or work for social justice, how has that affected your attitude toward money? 
  • What factors influenced your decision to rent or buy the home where you currently live? Did money play a part in it? How is money reflected or not reflected in your current neighborhood? 
  • What questions do you have about how money affects the people in your community? 
  • In a general sense, where do you hope to be financially in ten years? What are one or two steps or goals you’ll need to achieve to move toward this vision? 
  • Do you have a will? If not, why not? Did you include anyone in your will besides your family? What will you do with your money as you approach the end of this life?

Work/Ministry

  • If you’ve worked part-time or full-time in ministry before, do you feel you were justly compensated for your experience level and workload? If not, do you feel gender/race played a role in this? 
  • Have you ever asked for a raise before? What feelings arose for you in the process? 
  • Have you ever been fired from a job? What feelings around money arose for you in the process? How do you feel about that memory now?
  • Have you ever chosen to quit a job? What feelings around money went into your discernment process before quitting? How do you feel about that memory now?
  • Have you ever had to hire or fire an employee? How does it make you feel to consider doing this as a faith leader?
  • Have you formed any beliefs around fair wages and vocation? For example, what are your beliefs about being paid full-time for ministry? 
  • What do you feel and believe about bi-vocational ministry?
  • How do you feel about asking other people for money…for yourself, a worthy cause, your church community, etc.? Where do you think these feelings are coming from? 
  • What questions do you have in regards to money that you still need to explore or what to find answers to? What are your next steps in finding the answers to these questions?
  • In a line or two, what have you learned about yourself from this autobiographical exercise? What action steps will you take as a result of this?

Resources

Picture of Jennifer Fisher

Jennifer Fisher

Co-Founder, Launchpad Partners